Imposter in Content

We talk about Imposter Syndrome in Content Creation

mileposts - episode 7 - imposter in content

hey guys, it's Loren Winzeler. I'm your host today for another episode of the milepost podcasts. It's February 9th a Sunday morning at the time. I'm writing this, hopefully I'll get to record this today as well. So for my 90 day goals, I'm committed to creating 60 pieces of content for the business, which implies that weekends are necessary for content creation.

[00:00:27] So this weekend I am struggling with focus with concentration. I've concluded for now that I need to work on batch recording during the weekdays and assume that the weekends will be all about editing and writing and scheduling posts and so on. Family at the house, especially my wife, being home from work does not lead to an environment at home where I can get any audio or screencast content recorded and the kids' activities and expectations of the wife, the family make it kind of challenging to pull away.

[00:01:08] Even if I drive to the office, it's kinda challenging. So I need to do more of that, schedule hard time away at work, you know, at the office times. You see, the home office for me does not include an office with a closed door. We have a three bedroom house. It's about 1700 plus almost 1800 square feet.

[00:01:33] Nine and a half years ago when my second kid was born, my daughter, I gave up the third bedroom, my home office to her to make it her bedroom, the nursery at the time. So my desk moved from the  third bedroom. The office at that time to the family room, AKA the room just off the kitchen and the very front of the house by the front door.

[00:01:58] Next to the TV and the couch. So now the couch has gone and the original desk has gone to, it's been replaced by our old dining table, pushed up against the windows and up against the wall. The only chair in this whole room, in this office, family room is the desk chair. And you know, to make matters worse lately, the, a elliptical machine moved from the garage.

[00:02:25]That elliptical combined with my rowing machine, it's an office slash home gym more than a family or TV room. So we cut the cord and canceled pay TV years ago. So it's rarely used to watch TV. And here there's a TV on the wall, you know, we've got Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, but no broadcast TV. So anyway, where am I headed with this anyway?

[00:02:51] I'm not sure. Suffice to say that the home office only works when everyone else is gone during the day. I have the microphones, the webcams, everything's set up to record. It's not very great acoustically. It's kind of a mess. And physically it's, it's a big mess and cluttered as well. It looks like a college dorm room office.

[00:03:15] In a way, I'm writing in my office now in the last few paragraphs I've been interrupted twice. My daughter brought me a flashlight that isn't working. Shortly after my wife brings me a toy from the garage that is missing pieces. It's actually infant toy, which is even stranger from 11 or 12 years ago. She apparently was saving, but it fell down.

[00:03:39] Now it's missing a bunch of parts. Anyway, combine that with, Some random shouting, some yelling. All the while, my son literally just yelled at me and says, he wants to start selling his Nerf guns on eBay. So needless to say, the time to get  focused work done at home is in the early, early mornings, or in the late evenings.

[00:04:02] And as you might expect, content creation with audio and video and screencasts. And with audio are virtually impossible in the early am or late evening. In fact, recording clean audio with the family in the house is just about near impossible. Maybe I should lock myself in a closet or go in the garage. I don't know.

[00:04:26] Anyway, I can write an outline and edit and mix and  post things on the mornings and evenings and weekends.  The other thing I've realized about content creation at home is the, this imposter syndrome that creeps in. The imposter symptom with  the family. Of course, they all know what I'm working on, but I don't think I would be comfortable recording this podcast right now in front of them.

[00:04:55] I don't know if it's the transparency of the topics or not wanting to make them worry.   I just don't have the traction with my marketing and content creation to feel comfortable recording at home with them around. So this week it's been two recording sessions for mileposts and two editing and transcription sessions.

[00:05:19] I'm editing this entire show to learn the process. And so far I need to spend more time on leveling in the audio and getting the correct levels between podcasts, get the right gains set, need to create and post thumbnails on YouTube.  Lately I've just been uploading, retitling the videos in a way we go.

[00:05:43] So for me, recording needs to be more of an appointment with the microphone with the camera. I had originally expected to edit video work in the office / studio that I maintain away from the house, but it seems unlikely that I'll be editing during the day for a while. You know, I've got a fancy PC set up, an older core i7 32 gigs of ram and it works great for rendering video.

[00:06:14] It's better than this 16 gigabyte a Mac pro. I have in the past experimented with late nights at the office, like going back to the office after the kids go to bed or after dinner. This has not worked so great for me. In the end, I feely, I ended up feeling like crap the next day, and especially the day after.

[00:06:39] It does not work for my age, I guess, or my fitness level. It used to be easy for me to pull all nighters. I used to be able to stay up working super late. Did not require a ton of coffee to stay up late. In fact, I have distinct memories of sleeping at the office to hit deadlines.  When I was an intern at Microsoft and Intel straight out of college, I can remember many nights sleeping on the floor under my desk or finding a couch down the hall.

[00:07:14]Maybe that kinda all nighter or stuff doesn't happen anymore. Anyway, back then. We did not have couches or sleeping pods at work. It was a gray cubicles at Intel and shared offices at Microsoft. Typically, managers had their own office, as did the senior devs and Microsoft that is.  At Intel everybody has a cubicle all the way up the chain. Anyway, I remember one day, one morning I'd come into Microsoft, notice the sleeping bag that I kept in my office behind the door was missing. It was early morning, and so later that morning, I  found my manager had borrowed pillows, pads, blankets from various places around the building to create a pretty cush sleeping digs in his office.

[00:08:04] I don't know why he didn't have his own sleeping bag or his own gear at this point in his career, or if he was just trying to drive a point home by,  borrowing everyone else's,  stuff, related to a shipping deadline for the code we were working on. By borrowing everyone else's sleeping bits and saying, Hey, I've been at the office all night.

[00:08:27] It would require them to know that he'd been pulling all nighters as the manager sleeping in the office. Anyway, it all seems kind of funny now, thinking about that  building 16 if you know the Microsoft campus, this was a, I think the year was 94 working on. The Exchange, Microsoft Exchange product, the a, it was codename touchdown or the Microsoft business or the, the group is called the MBU test or messaging business unit.

[00:09:02] So it was that pre-internet, Microsoft, pre-internet, pre pre-bill Gates, memos about,  internet and Exchange was all designed around competing with Lotus Notes. It wasn't a email client. Was it about Microsoft outlook? Outlook as a name didn't exist. I think the client was named Capone or something like that.

[00:09:24] Anyway, fun times back to a, working at home versus working at the office and having the family around. Anyway, so why don't I just declare myself working   interruption free? You know, that can work sometimes, especially when I have phone calls. You know, client or otherwise calls. It's, it's,  , it's pretty easy to do that.

[00:09:49] In fact,  when I was running the mortgage origination game for awhile,  calls a home, we're pretty common, , I had of voiceover IP phone in my office at my home office that rang just like my desk phone at work. I was all configured that way and it was pretty common to take or make calls to family around,  I could announce , I'm on the phone or mute the microphone or the headset and just scream, you know, a demand to be interruption free.

[00:10:22] So why is content creation and solo content creation so hard though with them around? And I think it has something to do with that imposter syndrome and worrying about what other people think. So it's hard when you're just getting started. I think it'll get easier, at least I hope it'll get easier.

[00:10:46] So I have no problem talking to you guys for 30 minutes. you know, when I'm speaking to the mic, I imagine who's listening and, you know, putting on some headphones, blocking out the audio makes it pretty easy to talk. 

[00:11:01] So. It's not hard to talk to you guys and and know that others are listening in any way. Family and friends listening suddenly, I guess I would be worried about being judged. So I guess if I had some social proof and some traction with the podcast and with other content, it'd be easier to to do that without suffering the imposter syndrome at home.

[00:11:27] I actually sat down and titled this. Little essay for the podcast, the sunk cost fallacy. So I was going to talk about sunk cost effect. Obviously I have not done that. So after a winding road, we've ended up talking about imposter syndrome in the context of content creation and recording content and recording this podcast.

[00:11:52]I had it in my mind, in my topic list to talk about imposter syndrome, but I did not expect to get there in this essay, in this podcast, and I was thinking more along the lines of imposter syndrome from the,  technical and entrepreneurial side of things. It's off to save that for a part two on imposter syndrome.

[00:12:17] So I guess we'll title this part one related to content creation, and I'll have to figure out what to say about the sunk cost effect and say something useful. Put the sunk cost fallacy. Something I've been thinking about a lot lately when I seek to simplify my life and just draw lines through and delete and cancel and stop working on different projects, letting things kind of die on the vine that are not critical. It's hard to let go of things when you've been working or thinking about things for long enough on the latter. I've got tons to say, I guess about sunk cost fallacy, and I certainly have a lot of recent experience. I do think that they're closely linked.

[00:13:09] That is the scarcity mindset. If you have a hard time throwing out work or things or services that you had spent time with or money on, it can be similar,  to hold on to something and to continue to invest time and money solely because you've spent a lot of time and money previously. Just simple fact of the matter that 99% of things. You'll never get back to, and it's easy to replace if we had to. So it's easier just to start all over than it is to continue to hang on to things that you've spent a lot of ton of time and money on. I'll talk more about sunk cost fallacy and some cost effect in the future, but it's something that I've been struggling with a lot.

[00:14:06] So it seems to me as a founder, it fall that falls victim to the sunk cost effect. It's likely to suffer, suffer from a kind of a scarcity mindset. I think those two things are, are closely linked. Anyway, we'll look forward to diving into that in the near future and a part two also on the imposter syndrome.

[00:14:26] And another retrospective. Anyway, the next episode will be a upstate update episode. Thanks for joining me, listening in, like, share, subscribe. See you next one. Thanks Loren.

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